101 uses for a dead cat-hater

You might have come across that book, 101 Uses For A Dead Cat, in which line drawings of cat stiffs are being used 'creatively'. [If I remember right, the tail of a cat in rigor mortis can be used to prise open stubborn lids of cans.]

How. Damned. Unfunny.

Taking a leaf from the newspapers for the second day in a row - The Straits Times seems full of cat stories these days - I can think of one very good reason now for a 'companion' book to be written: 101 Uses For A Dead Cat-Hater.

There's a report saying that a Malaysian man named Wong Geng Thong 'befriended' a stray cat at a coffee shop in Haig Road, then fed it some cat food he had in his van. How nice of him, you think?

Well, as moggies go, pet us overly much and we soon get feddup, right? Well, my moggie friend did just that. He [or she] scratched Wong, who got angry, picked the cat up and drove off to a deserted carpark off Old Airport Road. It was there that my friend paid for the scratch with his/her life.

What Wong did was unaccountably evil: He tied a wire noose around the moggie's neck and hung it till he/she passed out. Then he massaged the animal's chest till it revived before dangling it by the wire again. Of course, after x number of times, the cat could be revived no more.

[I wonder if the cat felt at all what was to follow.] Wong removed the noose, held the cat by its neck and bashed its body against the wall of the carpark.

A security camera, installed by residents in the area following a number of cat bodies found, was all this while whirring quietly, catching yet another piece of evidence to nail the man.

Now that the court hearing is over, everyone will be dismayed to find out that all Wong will get is two months in jail. The SPCA, 'with due respect to the court', is appealing against the leniency of the sentence, saying it sends out a wrong message - that the law tolerates animal abuse.

I wonder if Wong is in serious need of psychiatric treatment rather than a jail term, but that's another story. And certainly, even if I were human and in the power to recommend that, I don't think I would. Why should we show respect for his life or his rights when he has shown none for another's life and rights?

What I think should be done to him would be very well captured in a book titled 101 Uses For A Dead Cat-Hater. After all, I'm a decent artist, and I'm imaginative.

I should call my publisher tomorrow.